Parental Units
So I’m pretty sure my family is as crazy as anyone’s. In fact, I have to tell you this little thing so anyone out there can give me advice on how to go about this. Or, OR! Do it for me!! Please?
So my parents are generous. They are incredibly giving people and I know their heart is in the right place most of the time. At this moment, my dad is T -6 days to getting double knee surgery in California. All prognoses declare that he should be up and around by Christmas, but Mom and Dad are planning to stay in California for Christmas anyway. And guess what? They want me, Homer, Tucker, my sister P, her boyfriend K, and both of their dogs to come down for the holiday. Nice, right? California instead of Canada for Christmas, ARE YOU KIDDING?
Now, before you go thinking that I am a total ingrate, let me explain the accommodations. Mom and Dad own a ‘casita’ – a small house with a living room, a kitchen, a bathroom, a garage and a small laundry. But no bedroom. Outside the casita is a huge driveway on which they park their big-ass motorhome and that becomes the bedroom. The only time I’ve ever been there was on a 7-day trip with M&D, P, Homer and two of my parents’ friends. I’m not sure if you’re doing the math, but that’s a LOT of people for such small quarters. The friends got the motorhome to sleep in, M&D got the pullout couch which left me, my HUSBAND and my SISTER to sleep…in the garage. Yes, yes, the garage. We had air mattresses to sleep on (Homer’s and mine even had a lovely leak in it, so within a few hours of blowing it up, it deflated again, along with our hopes for any sleep). So ask me if I’m looking forward to going back there. To be fair, though, they’ve put a futon and an air conditioner in the garage so it’s more of a room than a garage now with no chance of leaky air mattresses, and there will be 6 people not 7 like last time (although there could be 3 dogs instead), so it may be marginally better. I’m still not too keen, though.
The other thing is, Homer and I just bought a house and are going on a rather expensive vacation to Cuba in February so we can’t really afford it. I mean, we COULD afford it - it would just have to go on a credit card and get paid off later - but frankly, who wants to spend $1500 on a vacation with your parents when you’re over 30 years old?? Not me, that’s who. I learned that last time, too. Of course, M&D have offered to pay for our airfare and everything, but they’re already paying for 2 knee surgeries, so I feel (and Homer REALLY feels) uncomfortable letting them do that. Not to mention they’ve not offered to pay for my sister’s airfare because they figure she’s got lots of money and can afford it herself so that hardly seems fair either!
But how badly do I feel about not being there, nor really WANTING to be there, while my dad recovers from surgery?? The guilt is getting to me for sure.
I guess P tried to tell Mom the other day that she didn’t think she K would be able to make it and P said didn’t go over very well with Mom. But I talked to Dad yesterday and he was under the impression that P and K and both their dogs WERE going (which meant that Homer and I should, too, of course). So, did Mom not tell Dad? Or did P say, “No, I don’t think we’re coming,” but Mom heard, “Yes, we’ll look into bringing the dogs on the plane”? It’s been obvious before that my parents only hear what they want to hear, so maybe this is just more proof. Anyway, I told P about my conversation with Dad and she basically threw up her hands and decided that they’d spend Christmas Eve with K’s family, then travel to our place on Christmas Day and Boxing Day and then go home. That seems like a great idea to me, too, so I’ve already begun planning decorations and menus and activities…
But how do we break it to our parents? Because at this point, I don’t know how we’ll be able to bow out gracefully since we’ve already tried that and failed. Are we going to actually have to tell them that we don’t WANT to go? Are they forcing us to hurt their feelings more than what’s necessary? Or are we just horrible daughters for not wanting to spend Christmas with our parents?
So, why don’t you tell them for me? That would be great, thanks.
Love Diamond Jackie
